“Give Me Sex Jesus” Debuts on Vimeo

By Julia Feeser

give me sex jesus

Patrick and Bonnie, a married couple who appear in the film and saved their first kiss for marriage.

A few weeks ago, a documentary was released on Vimeo called Give Me Sex Jesus. 

Give Me Sex Jesus is a fascinating look at the rise of purity culture during the 80’s and 90’s and how this movement impacted young people growing up during that time. The film highlights the stories of several different people, all ranging in age, relationship status, sexual identity, and sexual orientation.

In popular culture, the lingering effects of the purity movement are just now coming to light as those who were teens during that time are now adults navigating their sexuality. I find myself reading article after article (mostly by women) describing how the purity movement negatively impacted their views of sex, caused a confusing amount of shame, and often didn’t accomplish the intended outcome of waiting until marriage.

I was someone who had some exposure to purity movements through a conference I attended with my youth group at 15 years old. During the conference (which included a lot of flashing lights and popular movie clips) I learned from an energetic twentysomething about why waiting for marriage to experience sex was the best choice I could make and would keep my “purity” in tact. After the conference, I received a silver ring I could wear as a reminder of the promise I had made to wait.

I ended up wearing my ring for a few years, finally taking it off my junior year of college. It wasn’t that I had decided not to wait anymore, but I realized the ring was really just a ring, and the promise I was making had grown into a deeper purpose rooted in obedience to Christ.

Even though I wore a purity ring, I always struggled with the idea of “purity” itself. The rules and ideas surrounding purity felt cheesy and naive, and not at all practical for real dating relationships. To me, to be pure meant my virginity was in tact and I would inexplicably be overwhelmed with the desire to run through a field of wildflowers wearing a white dress, not caring about boys in the slightest bit (but I cared about boys, a lot).

While I have experienced first-hand the struggles created by purity movements (both in my own life and the lives of others), I truly believe that the idea behind purity movements came from a Christ-centered place and somehow became less about honoring the beauty of sex and more about an attempt to manage sexual sin in the lives of others.

Give Me Sex Jesus highlights one movement in particular; True Love Waits. 

True Love Waits was an abstinence-based movement founded in 1993 that promoted sexual purity, which they defined as abstaining from sex, sexual thoughts, sexual touching, pornography, and actions thought to lead to sexual arousal. The main component of their program was the signing of abstinece pledges by teens as a symbol of commitment to remain “pure” until marriage.

True Love Waits came under criticism for a couple reasons.

First, a 2003 study of the results of this program found that 6 out of 10 college students who had taken the pledge had broken it. Second, True Love Waits (whether inadvertantly or not) created a culture of rigid sexual rules that reinforced that all sexual activity was deeply sinful and devalued the person engaging in this sexual activity.

However, even though True Love Waits has received a lot of flack over the years (some of it justifiable and some not), I truly believe that the original intention for True Love Waits and similar purity movements came from a desire to give young people the means to experience sex in the best and safest way possible: marriage.

Looking back on movements like True Love Waits, we now have the opportunity to grow from where they faltered; leaning into conversations surrounded waiting not through a set of rules or pledges, but purpose in Christ.

It is not about signing a paper card, hoping this signature will still be relevant to us through the years and relationships we encounter.

It is not about adhering to strict rules regarding physicality, but rather understanding ourselves and the holiness God has declared already exists within our desire to be physical.

It is not about a fear of what we may do wrong, but rather a freedom in knowing waiting for sex isn’t really about waiting for sex and more about obeying God’s design for sex because we know He made it good, and we long for what He has declared to be good.

You can watch the full documentary below:

I Watched “Hot Girls Wanted” And Here’s What I Discovered About Porn

By Julia Feeser

Tressa, one of the young women featured in

Tressa, one of the young women featured in “Hot Girls Wanted.”

Hot Girls Wanted is not a documentary for the faint of heart.

Hot Girls Wanted premiered on Netflix last month and has since been generating buzz. And not the kind of buzz you usually see from a film featuring attractive women – instead, this documentary exposes not only the realities of working in the porn industry, but the skewed vision of sexuality and intimacy that young people hold.

Hot Girls Wanted was produced by writer and actress Rashida Jones and follows the lives of four girls, all between the ages of 18-19, as they take their first steps into the world of amateur porn.

The film is rife with numerous scenarios that most people would find disturbing: girls seeking these amateur porn jobs from an ad they found on Craig’s List, the depiction of abuse that many girls suffer (because, as one porn star puts it, “In the amateur porn world, you’re just processed meat. As long as you have [a body] that’s all that matters. They don’t care who you really are.”), girls as young as 18 put in scenes with much older men, and the overall belief among the girls that sex is a commodity, something that can be separated into distinct categories of physical sex (porn) and intimate sex (a romantic relationship).

I went into watching Hot Girls Wanted with an agenda: I was going to highlight just how messed up these young girls’ view of sex and sexuality was and how our society holds no value for real sexual intimacy or waiting until marriage, etc., etc., etc.

And while I could very well go on about those things that I did see prevalent in this documentary, I actually came away with something altogether different and deeply humbling:

I understand why people want to watch pornography.

Porn is, without a doubt, alluring; it’s mysterious, it’s forbidden, it’s shocking, and it appears to be an easy way to get a sexual “fix.”

Porn showcases a desire that is already within me: to experience sexuality, touch, intimacy (although porn is mostly devoid of that), and relationship. I have always thought of porn as a disgusting means to this end, knowing the type of scenarios porn depicts. However, porn’s hook is that it calls to these desires, awaking something in you that says, “If you watch this, you can feel a little bit of what you’re longing for.”

But porn is also incredibly dangerous to those who watch it, leading to deeply negative consequences such as broken relationships, addictive behaviors, and a warped vision of sexuality, to name a few.

It’s easy for me as a non-porn user and sexual integrity advocate to stand on the sidelines and point fingers and say, “Watching porn is bad and you people who watch porn are unhealthy and twisted and have no self-control.” But the truth is, a majority of people who watch porn are those who have become trapped in a world of using pornography to fulfill otherwise normal sexual desires.  

And as I was watching Hot Girls Wanted I had this realization that I could just as easily be one of those people sucked into turning to porn for sexual pleasure and fulfillment of a much deeper longing. 

Watching porn is not something anybody should be doing, and yet the truth is that every single one of us is susceptible to porn, in one way or another.

We are sexual beings, and whether we are actively seeking it or not, we crave the feelings and experiences that come along with sex and relationships, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. But as sinful beings, our sexual brokenness leads us to often seek after those things in ways not good for our well-being, porn being one of them.

What I discovered by watching Hot Girls Wanted is that I’m not exempt from this temptation, and I would wager a guess that this is true for the majority of us as people who are curious about sex. Because of this, it’s deeply important we understand where we are turning to for information about sex and how we are experiencing sexuality, because most of us are capable of going about this in a way that is not only unhealthy for ourselves, but unhealthy for those we are in relationships with, myself included.

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